FanFic: Jess' Favorite Christmas (Laramie;ShortStory)

Merry Christmas!

The fire was crackling and I curled up next to my ma, who was resting on our dust couch, which was dotted with holes. She had finished the daily house chores and finally got off her feet. My little brothers were stacking sticks quietly in front of us. Peter was three-years-old and James was four-years-old.
I was six-years-old and have four older siblings. Francie, nine-years-old, Carrie is twelve, Frank is fourteen, and Daniel is fifteen. Frank, and Daniel were out helping pa in the fields. I was workin' with them, but pa told me to go inside and see if I could help ma, what he really meant was comfort her. This time of year she always seemed a bit sad. Francie told me this was because her parents, my grandparents, died around this time and that ma remembers time with them was always a happy time. Francie told me about Christmas, a day of joy and gift giving, also the celebration of God coming to the world as a little baby. It's in the Bible, which we read that story every year around this time. Then pray and thank God for everything we have.

Last Christmas was not very cheerful and it was my first Christmas that I was able to participate in and could understand. A week before, a big, freezing storm hit the Texas panhandle, and you know what happened? Well all of pa's crops just died, I call 'em his but they ain't. Pa is working under a boss. This boss is nice, though, is what Pa says, compared to others he's heard of. This man lets Pa have two days off. He has to work on all other days.

So, anyways, we were very low on money for that year, but this year we are working on raising the crops, and praying no storm will hit again.

That Christmas Ma, told me that she would still bake a delicious cake with what we had. I still don't see Christmas as a time to be happy. Ma said we should be thankful that our family is all together and we still have food and clothes on our backs, a roof over our heads, and that Pa still has work.
Tomorrow we get to go into town. We all have to go, I really don't want to travel in the cold, but I can't stay home alone and everyone else wants to go. So I have to go out in the freezing cold tomorrow for a pointless trip. Not sure what Ma needs, well I guess we do need a few supplies but there ain't no reason for us all to go.

"Ma, do I have t'go to town tomorrow?" I questioned her with pleading eyes.
"Why don't you want to go, Jess? We can all enjoy the ride together and go see what's going on. We haven't been there for a long time. Besides your pa may need your help."
"What about Frank and Daniel? Why do I have t'help?"
"I need some help maintaining your little brothers as I shop."
I was pretty sure she was thinkin' up things for me to do so I would have to come.
"But, Ma, it's cold and I don't like traveling in the cold."
"Jess don't be that way." She pulled me closer and made circles with her hand on my back. "It's not that cold. Well, if you want to stay, I can talk to your pa. You'd have to be all alone though, unless someone wants to stay."
"Can I, Ma? Can I?" I grinned and bounced up, but winced as pain shot up my wrist.
"Jess, what's the matter?" Ma's hands instantly took hold of my hands, and she observed the hurting one.
"I think I jammed it on the-" I stopped. Why'd I let that slip.
"What did you do today?" Ma questioned in a calm, stern tone.
"I-uh, fell...fell of the horse." I replied pulling my hand away and hiding it behind my back.
"Hello! We're home!" Pa's voice echoed into the small house, which was pretty much just three rooms joined together.
Ma stood up and she gave pa a kiss, well pa gave her one first.
"Dinner is on the stove. So, go clean up." She smiled at my pa and my two older brothers. They were all covered in sweat and dirt. Daniel walked past me and grabbed my neck.
"Come on little dirt carrier."
"Hey!" I laughed and grabbed his semi large, sweaty hand. Daniel resembled pa a lot, not too tall, dark hair and green-blue eyes; even his hands were about the same size.
"Where's the other two little dirt carriers?" Frank asked looking around the room as James and Peter made a dash behind the couch. Pa grabbed both of them under his arms and they began to giggled as he carried them to the wash bin.
"Single file." Pa ordered and put the two squirming boys on the ground.
Me and the younger boys hurried to get in order of age. Peter, James, me, Francie, Carrie, Frank, and Daniel. Pa helped Peter with washing his hands, but James wanted to do it by himself. Then it was my turn and I quickly got 'em washed then went to the table and sat down. Ma came over and looked over my job.
"Good job, Jess. Your finally scrubbing hard enough!" Ma kissed my cheek and then put a hot bowl of soup in front of me. I waited for everyone else to sit down and prayer to be said before digging into the steaming liquid.
"So what are the plans tomorrow? Know what anyone is getting?" Pa asked.
"I know what I'm getting tomorrow!" Francie commented with excitement in her voice.
"I'm not to sure, but I'll be looking." Carrie stated and nodded towards Francie.
I listened to the talk, but didn't talk my self. There wasn't much for me to say. It was the same for my little brothers too. We just finished up our dinner and then helped with the job of cleaning the kitchen. Tonight me and Francie had to help ma. I had to dry the dishes and Francie had to put away, while ma washed.
After that we sat around the fireplace. Everyone was kind of doing their own thing. Ma was sewing up a pair of pants which Peter had ripped a hole in and Pa was sitting still, thinking, with his pipe smoking.
I took up my place beside Ma, and watched her hands as they moved and pushed a tiny needle through the tough cloth. Francie and Carrie were both reading to each other, while Frank and Daniel began their daily homework, or should I say nightly.
"Jess, can you get the chalkboard and chalk please?" Ma asked, not taking her eyes off her stitching.
I grudgingly got up and brought over the little black board and a piece of chalk. "Here."
"Spell, ranch."
"Ranch?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.
"Yes, that was a word I gave you today."
"Uh, but I-no it wasn't!"
"Yes it was."
"Why do I have t'learn t'spell it when I can already say it?"
"I've told you why."
"Yeah but…"
"When you are older you will thank me."
"I thank ya now, Mama. Just is I don't find it important now! I gotta…"
"Boys we are goin' on a huntin' expedition day after tomorrow!" Pa stated suddenly, standing up from his chair.
"On Christmas Eve?" Ma asked.
"We can find some big game for Christmas dinner." Pa grinned and put out his pipe. "Well it's about time to hit the sack. Good night, Lauren."
Lauren Harper was my ma. She was a sweet, kind, caring, mother any child would want. She had light brown hair and dark blue eyes. She always could cheer you up. My pa, Daniel Harper, my brother Daniel is actually Daniel Jr., he is how I described him. Dark brown hair, almost black and green-blue eyes. He was one you did not want to mess with, and one you would not want to run to if you were hurt, as in hurt being a little cut or a bruised knee. No pa just told you to buck up or go tell ma. So that's what each of us did.
'Sept today I wasn't supposed t'tell ma about me working with the axe. Pa didn't know either. It was between me and my older brothers. I asked Daniel if I could take a try at the ax and he said sure. So a small-sized piece of wood was placed by my feet and I let the ax swing, but when it hit the ground, not the wood, it sent a vibration up my arm. Then I just noticed it hurt when I asked ma about town.
So bedtime. Bedtime was easy. The two little boys fell asleep fast, Frank and Daniel fell asleep once they hit the pillow and the girls just got in and I joined them. I had to share the big bed with them while Frank and Daniel got their individual beds. Pa said he'd build me a bed like theirs once I grew a bit more, but for now I had to bunk with my sisters. Which I really didn't mind. My little brother's shared a small bed, but they usually ended up with my parents, at least Peter did. Meaning I could get their bed.
"Why don't you want to come to town tomorrow, Jess?" Francie asked me once I was in bed. I rolled over and faced her, my eyes scanning her face.
"It's too cold. I don't know why ya'd even wanna go." I whispered in an annoying tone.
"You're missing out, Jess." Carrie whispered sleepily.
"I don't care." I rolled back over facing the wooded wall that our bed sat up next to. Why did they have to keep bothering me about it? I wouldn't do anything in town, I spent the last of my allowance the last time we went a month ago, so I wouldn't be able to get anything. We haven't been getting any allowance because of the shortage of money my pa was making this year.
The next morning I was the last one up and joined everyone back around the fireplace. Ma was tossing something in pa's hat and then handed it down to Peter. He pulled out a piece of paper and opened it, letting ma read it back to him. She read Carrie's name. I still didn't know what she was doing. She did the same with James, he got Daniel; and skipping me, ma went straight to Francie.
She looked at it and smiled, then crumpled it up in her tightly closed fist. I left to sit at the table and got the black board to start working on my spelling. I got the list of words ma gave me and began to copy them, then did them by memory.
"You sure you don't want to come, Jess?" Ma asked as she came over to get breakfast started.
"I'm sure." I shifted in my seat as I scribbled down the next word. "H-O-R-S-E." I mumbled.
"Jess?" Peter asked as he took the seat next to me.
"Yeah, Pete?" I looked at his round baby face.
"What do ya get, girls?"
"Girls? What do ya mean 'get for girls'?"
"I have to get her a pwesent. What do I get Carrie?"
"You have to…" I stopped. So that was what they were doing! Presents? It ain't her birthday. "Pete, I dunno the answer to that. Ya'd have't ask ma. She's a girl."
"Oh." Peter looked over at ma then back at me. "Thanks, Jess."
"Welcome." I smiled, he smiled back and hopped down from the chair.
"Jess, chickens need to be fed." Pa told me as he took a seat at the table with a book.
"Yes, sir." I stacked my work neatly and pushed it to the side. I pulled on my coat and boots, then walked out in the cold, with a cool wind blowing. I grabbed the pail that was waiting outside the door and went to the barn to get chicken feed. We had to sell a few chickens. Well, one was dinner, so we only have five now. Used to have ten. Oh and we have a rooster
"Come on! Get outside." I yelled at the chickens who were in the barn. "Ya want your breakfast then you get it out there."
I sprinkled their food about and then went inside the barn and straight over to my Thoroughbred foal. He was standing very close to his mother and his tail was wagging slowly back and forth. I ran my fingers over his warm nose and leaned my cheek against it. Warm and soft.
"Ya hungry, Traveler?" I smiled at the little horse as the animal wobbled its head about and bending it down to take the feed out of my hand. The barn doors creaked open and Daniel entered.
"Mornin', Jess. Gotta hitch up the team." He grinned and grabbed the two adult Thoroughbreds, leading them outside to be hitched up. Once Daniel was finished he came back in and stood in the center of the small-ish stable. I glanced back at him periodically and patted Traveler on the back then turned around and walked towards him.
"You sure you don't want to come, little buddy?" Daniel bent down to my level and cupped his hands around both of mine. "Man, you're cold."
"I'm sure. And yes I am very cold." I nodded and a shiver went up my spine.
Daniel pulled me into a big warm hug. I relaxed and snuggled closer into his warm clothing.
"Breakfast is nice and hot." He stated.
"I'm hungry!"
"Bet ya are. Come on, let's get going." Daniel stood up and waited for me to put the pail back in its place. "Race ya."
"Don't make it easy!" I pointed at my taller brother. "You and Frank always do that."
"Not always."
"Yeah right."
"One." Daniel began. I instantly took my stance.
"Two. Three!"
We were off. This time Daniel was the first at the door. I ran up, panting, and began to feel dizzy. Daniel picked me off the ground and we entered the house, then he swung me to the ground.
"Do me!" Peter jumped up and down, reaching his hands up towards Daniel.
"Not now, Pete. Breakfast is ready."
"Ah." Peter pouted and walked over to his chair and climbed on.
"You okay, Jess?"
"Yeah. Dizzy. But I am better now!" I smiled as the dizziness cleared.
"It's the cold weather. Running in it or walking can cause that."
"How d'ya know that?"
"It's happened to me."
"Are you two gonna talk, or are ya gonna eat?" Frank questioned as he past us and sat in his chair.
"Eat." I stated and marched over to my seat.
Everyone was bundled up and sitting cozily in the wagon. Ma made a little fuss over me and told me to be careful and to stay inside. Of course, pa reminded her I knew how to use a gun and knew how to ride, if anything were to happen. I gave her a kiss and waved good-bye as the horses took them down the hill. Entering the house, I went over to the fire and tried to read a book. The fire was going out so I added more wood and moved it around. Thank goodness they trusted me with the fire.
Sitting in pa's big armchair I began to think about my family and the day that was coming up. Christmas. He'd heard a bunch of kids in town talk about all the excitement on that day and the big meal. Family.
I stood up and walked to the bedroom. I pulled on another shirt and got my coat. Pulled on my boots and hurried to the barn. I dragged a saddle over to the big mare and got up on the stool that I used to saddle horses. I learned just recently how to saddle them. Pa thought it'd be a good idea to start at a younger age, besides I'd be needin' the skill since I would be helping them out in the fields.
The mare, River, was finally saddled, after many attempts, and I hopped on. Kicking her sides we galloped out of the barn after my family. Didn't take me long till I was a few feet behind them. The cold when was sharp against my face and my eyes n' nose were watering. Pa glanced over his shoulder and then stopped the wagon.
"Jess, what are you doing?" He asked as I stopped, River, beside the wagon.
"C-c-comin' w-w-with ya." I shivered out the words.
"Oh darling, are you alright?" Ma held out her arms.
I shook my head. "I-I'm al-alright."
Daniel hopped down from the wagon and pulled me off the horse. My hands were too cold so they just released themselves from the reins.
"You really shouldn't be ridin' River just yet." Daniel said and swung me into the wagon with everyone else. Francie put her blanket around me.
"Hook her on to the wagon." I heard Pa say and watched Daniel tie River on to the back of the wagon and he hopped back on.
"Got room for me?" He asked Francie.
"Not at the moment. Jess has gotta warm up first."
"I was only kiddin'." Daniel waved a hand and sat next to me. He took some loose straw in the corner of the wagon and sprinkled it on right on my head.
"'ey!" I whined and brushed the dried grass out of my hair.
A sudden bump of the wagon made everyone fly about an inch from their seated positions. The two little boys made sound effects as the wagon came back on level ground.
"Ew! Jess threw up!" James exclaimed and pointed to my accident.
"You feelin' alright?" Francie asked, looking into my face. I slowly raised my head and locked eyes with her.
"Wagons." I said in my usual shy fashion whenever I had to admit something. 'Sept, everyone knew wagons and me did not get along.
"Jess, where'd you get this?" Daniel held up the money I had gotten out of ma and pa's box under their bed.
"In the box under their bed." I replied slowly, sensing troubling stirring.
"That money is savings! Not for spendin'. Remember what Pa told you?" Daniel folded up the bills and put them in his pocket.
"Sorry."
"Did you have somethin' in mind that you wanted to buy for a gift?"
"I needed money."
"Ma has money for the little boys and she would of given you some too."
"Sorry." I lowered my head, but Daniel wrapped his arm around me and rested his hand on Francie's shoulder.
"Mama is helping me with Carrie's present!" Peter grinned.
"She's right next to you, Pete. Don't say anything." Frank whispered.
Peter could never keep a secret.
Finally we arrived in town. Not a lot of people were out because of the cold, and I couldn't believe I talked myself into coming. Everyone got down and we journeyed into the general store.
"Ma?"
"Yes, dear?"
"I was wonderin' if I could...uh, if I could...if you could...I need to get someone somethin'." I couldn't not get myself to ask.
"You want money?"
I nodded. "I don't have no more of my money."
"Well, darling, you'll have to talk to your father. He's in charge of the money."
"Yes, ma'am." I smiled and went to find Pa in the small but crowded, not with people, store. Looking around, I saw dresses, hats, candies, and a few kinds of food. Peter and James were looking at the candies and talking to each other as they pointed to the different kinds.
"Don't it look yum, Jess?" James asked with eyes sparkling.
"Yeah. It does."
"Want to see if Ma will get us some? We ain't had any for a long time!" James bounced with excitement.
"We could…" I shrugged.
"Ah, come on, Jess." Peter pleaded.
"When I find Pa, I'll ask him!" I smiled.
"Yeah!" Peter grinned.
"What's going on here?" Ma came up from behind us.
"Jess is gonna ask Pa for candy. Can we get candy, Ma?" James' words poured out of his mouth more quickly than you can say Jack Robinson.
"Could we?" I asked, beginning to get hopeful.
"Talk to your father, alright." She smiled. "Pete do we need to go looking for Carrie's gift?"
"Yes, James says he knows what to get Daniel."
"I do!"
"That's good. Well, let's go Peter."
I left the candy place just as a mother and her little girl came up and got some. Took a while, but I found Pa near the front of the store.
"Pa?"
"Yes, son?"
"Can I have money to get Ma a present?"
"You want to get your Ma a present? Well I already got her one. Wanna see it?"
"Oh, sure."
He dug into his pocket and pulled out a small case, opened it and revealed a small chain with a jewel of some sort attached. It was very pretty.
"It reminds me of her eyes." I mused as Pa closed it and put it away.
"Same here and I've been savin' money special for something like this. So, Jess, you can have the rest. It isn't a lot, but it's enough."
"Wow!" Jess gazed at the coins that fell into his hands. "Thanks! Pa, what would Francie like?" Letting the real reason for the money slip.
"Carrie got Francie you might wanna talk to her."
"Alright!"
"Jess?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you clean up your mess in the wagon after you're done?" He smiled with a hint of laughter.
"Yes, sir." I smiled and ran through the merchandise to find Carrie. She was in, what I thought, was a girl's section. Not completely though.
"Carrie, I need to get Francie somethin', but I don't know what I should get." I panted out.
Carrie giggled a bit before answering. "I'm figuring that out now. Wanna help?"
"Sure." I shrugged and I soon found something. It was a shawl that I thought Francie would like. It was an orange-pink color and very warm. Carrie got her a small bag to put things in. Carrie told me she would take this up there to pay, so I left my money with her and left to go look around. James was walking my direction with a bag under his arm.
"What ya got there?" I asked.
"Daniel's present!" James whispered and grinned.
"Ya ain't gonna tell me what?"
"Yup!"
I smiled and shook my head then walked out to the wagon to clean up what I did. Jumping down from the wagon, I heard men's voices and saw that my Pa was being pushed by another man. The stranger was calling my dad names, and then a thief. A thief of what?
I marched over to him and stood by my Pa.
"Don't talk to my Pa that way!" I growled at the guy.
"Jess, go inside."
"No, Pa. I'm stayin' here."
"Get in side." Pa said angrily and pushed me, making me land on the ground.
Hurrying to my feet, I rushed into the store and got both my older brothers. They ran out and I followed as best I could. I stood in the doorway watching and Ma came up next to me.
"Daniel, stop it, please!" Ma walked over to where Pa and the man were fighting. Pa seemed to be doing most of the hitting. I heard a commotion inside and saw that James was being harassed by a boy.
"Stop buggin' my brother." I told the other boy.
"He stole something. Just like I saw your pa do."
"He ain't a thief!" I growled.
"I saw him take it!"
"What?"
"I saw."
"Saw what? You can't even tell me what is it ya saw!"
The boy held his breath and then swung at me. I landed on the ground and covered my nose. It was really hurting something awful. I felt water running down my face, but it weren't tears, I was sure of that. James ran to get someone and I got up, trying my best to look like it didn't hurt.
"You better watch it." I hissed.
"Watch what? Do you remember who I am?"
"Am I supposed too?"
"Yeah. I'm the kid you took money from about two years ago…"
"That was a fair game! You wanted to do that!" The memory was coming back. "'Sides I was to young to know!"
"An' you're still a baby."
"No I ain't!"
"Then fight." He took a defending position.
This boy's parents were the owners of this store and I ran into him the first year I went to town. We had done a game where he bet I couldn't out run him, so he put money on it. I told him I didn't have any to bet and he said it was fine, he expected that from a dirty little peasant like myself. That got me fired up and I beat him, at running that is. That's when he got all angry, but paid me the money anyways. Now he's getting me back, I guess.
"Is that your pa?"
"Yeah. And I told him!" He scoffed. "Weren't you gonna give me my money back?"
"I won it!"
"And I told you to bring back money. You didn't."
"I can't!"
"How long will it take you? How many years?" He emphasized on the word years.
"I'll get it back to you."
"Jess, what's going on?" Carrie asked.
I turned around and saw everyone coming back in. Carrie glance back then looked from the boy behind me before finally resting on me. Ma was talking to a woman whose face was red and she didn't look to happy. Seeing us, she marched over here, past me and towards the other boy.
"Ma, what happened?" I held on to her dress and looked up at her.
"Misunderstanding is all." Ma ran her fingers through my hair. Then she let out a gasp. "Jess your face!"
"What about it?" I asked, mouth area felt a bit sore.
"It's bloody." She took her handkerchief and wiped the blood off. "What happened?"
"He punched me." I stated quietly.
"Did you hit him back?"
"No."
"Good. We better get going."
"I am sorry." The lady said as she came up.
"It is alright. Are you?" Ma's question made the other lady eyes widen.
"Am I?"
"Yes, your husband, he was drunk. Making sure you are alright."
"I-I'm fine. We're moving as soon as we can, we aren't owners of this store and more and my husband is out of work. But I really don't want to tell you this."
"I'm listening. Doesn't seem to busy today?"
"It's the cold everyone is probably going to shop tomorrow."
"Ah."
Ma was an excellent listener. She always cared and wanted to help. She knew how to dig deep and make you talk. It even worked on Daniel and Pa.
So as soon as we said goodbye to the lady, and a thank you, we got back on the wagon. Everyone had packages in their arms and I held mine tight.
I woke up in Pa's big chair. It was dark outside and the fire was slowly dying down. I sat up and stretched, Pa was working on cleaning his rifle for tomorrows hunt.
"Hi, Pa. Is everyone asleep?"
"Yup. You need to head back to bed. You'll need to get your chores done before you come."
"Yes sir!" I hopped out of the chair, but stopped and slowly walked over to pa. "Pa, why was you fightin' with him?"
"He was drunk, Jess. That's all. Now go get some sleep."
"Oh, okay. Night, Pa." I smiled and ran off to the bedroom.
Before the sun hit the horizon, I was up feeding the animals. It had snowed a lot during the night and stayed in the freezing range for the rest of the night till morning. Peter and James helped me once they were up, in a hurry to play in the newly laid snow, and afterwards we chased each other with snow balls outside for a bit, trying not to make too much noise.
A person came riding in and greeted us with a big, "Hello boys!"
"Hello, Mr. Matthews!" All three of us greeted our Pa's boss at the same time.
"Is you're Pa up?"
"He should be. Always is when the sun gets up." I told him.
He got down off his horse and handed the reins to me and I led the horse to the barn.
"What's he doin' here? He never comes here." James asked me.
I shrugged. "Dunno. Come an' get me!" I yelled, throwing a packed snowball at James, and ran away, Peter on my tail, and James close behind.
When we cornered the house I had to stop and catch my breath. Mr. Mathews headed to the barn to get his horse. He mounted and then rode off. An angry yell in the house caught me and my brothers' attention and we entered the house. Frank was the one making all the noise and Pa was listening and yelling back. They were talking about working. Frank was not liking to work on the day they were promised off. This was news to me. Why did Pa have to work today, we were gonna go hunting. Hunting for whatever we could find.
"Jess, take your little brothers and bring in some wood for the fire." Ma said calmly.
"What is it? Why are they workin' today?"
"It's just the way it is, Jess. Work has got to be done."
I nodded and led Peter and James outdoors. We went to the wood pile and slowly got some in our arms. Peter took his piece of wood to the house, while James took two and I took four. Frank marched out of the house and towards the barn. After dropping off the pieces of wood I went out to the barn and saw Frank leading one of our team horses out.
"Frank? What are you doing?"
"Don't talk to me, Jess." He pushed me out of the way. I looked on, a bit shocked by his actions.
Sighing, walked over to Traveler, he was staying close to his mother.
"Good boy." I ran my hand along the warm, smooth brown coat. The foal whinnied and placed its warm snout in my hand. Pa entered the barn and I smiled at him.
"I claim Traveler, Pa!" I said and put my cheek against the horse's.
"He'll be a good one, Jess." Pa stated and began to saddle the other horse.
"Where you going?" I climbed up on the stool and placed my elbows on the edge of the horse's stall.
"Gotta work, Jess."
"Work? But you said we were goin' huntin' and-"
"Jess, I'm sorry it had to be this way. Just listen, alright, listen." He paused and put his big hand on my shoulder. "We need money, correct? Well the only way to really get that is to work. Mr. Mathews needs more men to work. So I got to go out there."
"No hunting?"
"No. I'm sorry, Jess. We will go one of these days." He patted my head. "We'll enjoy a nice Christmas tomorrow though."
"Will we?" I asked with a doubtful tone.
"Don't act like that, boy! We will." He said matter-of-factly. "Good bye."
"Can't I come with you then?"
"There is some chores that need to be done here. You get them done, alright? Your Ma has a list."
"Yes sir." I hopped down and walked back to the house as Pa rode off to the fields. My first hunting trip and it was not going to happen.
Pa and my two older brothers didn't come home that night until we younger ones were all asleep. The day grew warmer and then cooled off as the sun went down. I cleaned the barn out, which took pretty much all the morning, but I did have help from Francie. Then I had to finish my schooling and afterwards I finished the chicken coop, with help from almost everyone.
I heard both brothers walk in yawning and they both crashed on their beds. I'm guessing Pa did too, but I wasn't sure. Frank had come back, that was a good sign. At first it looked like he was leaving, which bothered me a bit.
Christmas Day…
Me and my younger brothers were the first ones up. It had snowed overnight and they wanted to go out and play in it. It was stacked high The early morning was chilly but I had to get my chores done. It wasn't soon after I had finished feeding the chickens that my pa and older brothers walked out of the house all bundled up. "What's goin' on?" I questioned as they got the team ready.
"We've gotta go work."
"But...I thought…" I was trying to figure out what I was going to say. I knew this day was his day off. The man promised him this day off. "Why do you have to work?"
"Because the sooner we get some things done the sooner we can have money." Pa explained and lifted the horse harness up.
"It's your day off."
"According to Pa, Jess, that's life." Frank didn't look at me, but his tone was an irritated one.
"But-"
"Jess, are you comin' or not?" Pa quickly said, turning around to look down at me.
"I...do I have to?"
"Yes, Jess, you kind of have no choice. The more workers the more we get paid." Pa told me.
"But it's free-" Pa gave me a stern look. "Yes, sir." I walked slowly back to the house. Got heated water from Ma and some 'trail food', as Pa calls it.
"You do a good job, alright, Jess?" Ma smiled and gave me a warm hug and kiss.
"I will, Mama." I said softly and smiled back at her. Still was not wanting to go. Another Christmas that was already turning out bad, again. Plus it was freezing cold and I hated working in the cold. I shivered and hugged the warm water close to me.
"Wait here, Jess." Ma walked to the cupboard and grabbed out a wrapped...something. She handed it to me. "Merry Christmas."
"What is it?" I looked up at her with surprise.
"Open it!" She smiled.
I tore the brown paper off and took out a pair of gloves.
"Th-these are mine?" I was not sure how to react to this.
"They're all your's. When you come home you can open the rest of your's."
"My what?"
"Gifts."
"My...gifts?"
"You'll see." She wrapped her hands around mine. "I want this to be a wonderful Christmas for all my children. We'll have a tasty meal, just like me and my parents had back home. You won't be working out there for too long, because of your age. So I will see you around lunch time. I love you, Jess." Ma gave me another hug and kiss before I walked outside with gloves that belonged to me. Not Frank's or Daniel's, mine.
"Pa! I got these for a gift!"
He turned around and smiled widely. "That's from both of us. You like them?"
I nodded. "Their mine!"
"Put 'em on and let's get goin'." Daniel stated and toss me besides Pa on the wagon. I put them on and now my hands were protected from the cold, biting wind which still was cold, but I felt a little more warmer, now.
Half way through our work, Mr. Matthews dropped by to check on how we were doing. We were supposed to be branding the cattle and that was coming along fine. I got to stand by the fire and keep it going.
"You brought your youngest, Dan?" Mr. Matthews addressed my Pa.
"Ain't my youngest anymore. Got two more just like 'im. Wild as a herd of mustangs."
The man on the chestnut horse laughed. "My wife says she has something to give you after you are done. So if you can drop by the house, that would be nice."
"Thank you, Hank."
My Pa tipped his hat and they both said good bye.
"Oh, and Merry Christmas." He added. Pa said the same to him and then Mr. Mathews galloped off to his place.
"He's a nice man."
"What's he givin' us, ya think?" I asked with a smile playing on my lips.
"Dunno." Pa shrugged. "Give me that brandin' iron. Your brothers are coming in with another one.
After we finished we put out the fire and drove the team to the Matthews' place. They lived in a nice wooded cabin with many rooms. Windows were clean and looking cheerful with a candle resting on their sills. Mrs. Matthews asked us in and Pa looked a bit hesitant at first, but then looked at me and accepted the invitation. She instantly guided me to the couch near the fireplace and told me to sit still. Then came back with a mug full of brown liquid. Pa said before that I was too young for coffee.
"I can't have it, Ma'am."
"Why not, child?" She sat down gently beside me.
"Pa says 'no coffee till I is older'."
She laughed. "Oh, Jess, this isn't coffee! This is hot cocoa. It's very good."
"Oh, okay." I took the mug in my gloved hands and put the hot liquid under my nose. Letting the heat spread over my face.
"It'll warm up in a bit, but drink it with caution."
"What's caution?" I asked, resting the cup in my lap.
"Caution is when you are being careful about something. Not to cause harm to yourself or others."
"Oh." I nodded then tried to drink the new drink. It was extremely hot, but it tasted delicious and it felt good as it went down my throat. Mrs. Matthews kept her arm around my shoulders, that she had put there when she was giving me the drink. I sensed her eyes on me and looked over at her, smiling. She smiled back then stood up and walked to the hall way.
I was half way done with my drink when my pa and brothers walked in from the kitchen with a box. Mr. Matthews asked to talk to Pa alone and Mrs. Matthews asked my brothers to come and warm up, but Daniel said he was going to water the horses, so it was just Frank and me. She then brought Frank a cup of coffee and settled down by me.
"So, how old are you, Jess?"
"Six." I told her shyly and looked towards Frank, who was taking sips of his coffee.
"And you Frank?"
"Fourteen, Ma'am." Frank nodded his head.
"And Daniel is the oldest?"
"Yes."
"Who's the youngest?"
"Peter and he is three." Frank stated.
"Ah. Sorry I missed little Peter's birth. I was there for James and Jess, though."
"Oh yeah you were." Frank recalled.
"You were there when I was born?" I never knew she was there.
"Yup, so are you going home to open presents?"
"I opened mine before we left!" I placed the cup between my legs and held up my hands.
"Oh! Those are very nice." She smiled.
"He has more." Frank said casually. "Ma just gave him his gloves since he would be needing them today."
"Well that is perfect timing."
"I have more?" I cocked my head to the side and gave Frank a curious look.
"You'll see."
"Ma said that." I sighed and slid a little in my seat. I gulped down the last of my drink and thanked her.
"Jess, you remind me of my little boy, you know? You both have the same look in your eyes. Both are pretty blues too."
"Where is he?"
"Gone home, Jess. His grave is out back. He would've been six tomorrow."
I lowered my eyes. "Sorry, Ma'am."
"It is alright, Jess. You didn't bring anything on that would bother me."
"How did he die?" Frank asked curiously. "If you don't mind me askin'."
"He got pneumonia from playing in the rain when it was cold outside. Even though I told him not to. Sometimes I get mixed feelings about it, but I still miss him."
"I didn't know people could died that young." I commented.
"You're never too young to die, Jess." Frank stated bluntly. Sometimes it seemed Frank thought I was the stupidest kid in Texas.
"Boys, we better go. Peter and James probably don't want to be kept waiting."
"They probably don't." Mr. Matthews laughed a hearty laugh.
"Thank you and Merry Christmas." Pa said and shook both their hands.
Daniel and Frank said goodbye and I thanked Mrs. Matthews for the drink. We got in the wagon and drove back home for lunch.
Entering the house we were greeted by everyone. Then Pa brought in the box.
"They said it's a present and that we were to open it once we got home." Pa told Ma as he set the box on the table. Me and my younger brothers stood on the chairs to see what's in the box. It was opened and Pa took out a medium-sized pot which was loaded with stew. Ma put it on the stove immediately to warm it up. Then there were small bags of those candies from the store in town. One for each of us kids. I went to the couch with my little brothers and we opened the bags. Daniel stopped us though.
"Wait till after lunch."
"But I'm real hungry." I said just as my stomach let out another loud growl.
"Us too." Peter said, speaking for him and James.
"You three little vultures can wait, can't ya?" Daniel teased and gently punched my jaw. I laughed.
"Isn't they the nicest people, Daniel?"
"Yeah. They are. And it's 'aren't' Jess, not 'isn't'" Daniel shook his finger in my direction.
We laid our bags down and went back over to the table. The stew smelled so good, that I couldn't wait to have some.
We sat down at the table and Ma served us. Once Pa prayed, I scooped some stew into my mouth. We have not had this good of a meal in a long while.
"We can open the presents after lunch, right?" James asked.
"Yes we can do that!" Ma smiled and looked around the table.
Cleaning the dishes was now Carrie and the little boys job and they got that done quickly. Pa was reading a letter that came out of the box and Ma sat down on the couch. Peter and James came bounding out of their rooms where they came out with their packages. I went inside Ma and Pa's room to get mine.
"Jess, let me see your gloves."
I nodded and took them off to give to her.
"I could probably make them tighter so they will stay on your wrist."
"They stay on just fine." I told her.
"Alright." She handed back the gloves and I put them back on.
"Alright, your Ma gets her present first."
"Oh, Daniel…" Ma started to say.
Pa shook his head and handed the little box to Ma and when she opened it, it almost looked like she was about to cry. Pa got his and then it went down from there. Francie gave me mine and hugged me.
"Merry Christmas little brother." She whispered with a smile.
"Merry Christmas, Francie." I smiled and handed mine to her.
"Jess, I thought…" Francie looked at me with confusion written all over her face.
"Pa gave me the money." I said, looking at Pa slowly. He smiled and bobbed his head.
"Open your's first, Jess." She said and waited till I began to take the wrapping off.
I took out the shirt and thanked Francie for it. Then she opened mine and hugged it close to her. She thanked me and then it was the next person's gift, then once we were done Ma went back to the kitchen to start the stove with the leftover wrapping paper, in order to cook our dinner. I took my things back to the bedroom and took out my box that I keep underneath the bed. This was my box, which no one was allowed to see inside of. I took off my old shirt and put on my new one. It was so refreshing and felt wonderful. The little boys were chatting about their candy and discussing how good each tasted. I put mine in my box. Saving it, but the things that were most precious were the gloves and the shirt, because they were from my family. This did turn out to be a good Christmas after all. I felt more happy during this one.
After we ate a meal of chicken, green beans, and a wonderful cake we sat around the fire and Pa began to read the story in the Bible. Then we sat around and I had to go with Frank to check in on the animals. Frank hurried out the door, and I followed as best I could. He was so much more faster than me.
"Frank! Wait." The cold wind was preventing me from moving too fast. I blinked my eyes and pulled my coat closer around me.
"Come on, Jess. Just run." He said and turned around to walked into the barn.
I ran, fighting the chilly air and made it to the barn. Frank was already getting the chickens in.
"Frank, are you okay?"
"What do you mean?"
"I...I mean you acted angry today."
"I'm fine." He said curtly.
"I don't believe you." I said and put my hands on my hips.
"No? Well you just better, Jess. Or else." Frank said and roughly handed me a rake. "Now, start moving the hay around."
The force he used pushed me back a few steps but I didn't lose balance or anything. I started to rake but straightened up and turned towards Frank.
"Or else what?"
"I'll give you a whippin'."
"You just try!" I taunted and grinned. "Pa and Ma wouldn't like that."
"You deserve it any how."
"Why?"
"Because, you're gettin' in other folk's business."
Something in his tone sparked anger in me. I frowned and leaned the rake against the wall.
"I don't do that."
"Yeah, you do! You won't leave me alone about this dadgum mornin'!" Frank's voice was raising a bit, like Pa's did when I or anyone else was in trouble. I didn't like this side of Frank.
"If you want me to forget it then you should've said so." I turned back to Traveler.
"I did. But you're too deaf to even listen."
"I ain't deaf!" I retorted.
"Then stop talkin' 'bout the subject!"
"Why won't you tell me?"
"Because I don't want to tell you."
"We always told each other when we were hurt, Frank. Remember?"
"And that was mainly you, Jess. Well, we ain't kids no more. We got a job to do and one that don't pay too good."
"What's that mean, Frank?"
"Would you be quiet, Jess and get to work. Sometimes I think you forget you're a little boy!"
"I'm a big boy! Pa said so!"
"Pa's lying."
"Pa don't lie."
"Really? Then why'd we not get off today? And the day before that?" He growled.
"Are you not liking work?"
"I like it, but not when we don't get paid for it. We are, but we ain't making a bunch. Besides, this ranch won't last with all those raiders roaming around?"
"What are raiders?" I asked, widening my eyes.
"Good night, Jess." Frank hooked up the rake and walked out of the barn.
I turned back to finish my chore. What was wrong with Frank? He ain't the big brother I knew no more. He was someone else. I took the lantern and turned down the wick. Then I hooked it back in the barn and shut the doors, with a little struggle. I hurried back inside and joined Ma on the couch.
"Jess, it's bed time."
"Can I stay here with you?"
"No, you've had a hard day and you need to get some sleep. Be rested tomorrow." Pa told me this time.
"What about you?"
"We will once you're in."
"Ma, Pa?" I looked at both of them.
"Yes?"
"Frank's different."
"Different?"
"He don't like me no more." I whimpered. My feelings didn't feel hurt back in the barn, but now they did.
"Why? What makes you think that, darling?" Ma cradled me in her arms. I was still small enough for her to hold.
"He...said things in the barn. Sssaid I was too young and-and dddeaf and that I wa-was just a little boy."
"You are a little boy, Jess? My little boy."
I rested my head on her shoulder. "Bbbut Pa said...I was a-a big boy."
"And you are, Jess. You are strong too. Just not physically." Pa sat down next to Ma.
"What does th-that mean?" I tried to prevent myself from crying more.
"You're stronger than your brothers and me sometimes, even though it may not look it. But you have the energy to keep on going. Remember that one summer day? It was after a while you were helping out and you kept wanting to move on. You wanted to see what was next. When we wished we were home."
"I ain't cryin' ju-just cos of..of Frank." I took a deep breath as Ma directed me to then continued, "It was today. I really liked it. It was strange, but I liked it."
"Strange feel?"
"It was different than last Christmas. This one was great."
"I'm glad you had fun, Jess." Ma smiled and kissed me.
"You're pretty Ma. Predier than Traveler."
"Oh? You're comparing me to a horse?"
"No!" I laughed. "But ain't Traveler just the prediest ever?"
"You like him, Jess?" Pa asked.
"Yes! I told him I'd ride him one day! We'd ride in to work and we'll each have our own horse!" I smiled.
"I'm sure he will be an excellent mount." Pa patted my back.
"Somethin' else Frank said is that there's been raiders roamin' 'round. What did he mean?"
"Nothing you need to worry 'bout, Jess. Mr. Matthews is well protected." Pa's voice was a bit hesitant but he said it firmly.
"Alright." I yawned and blinked the sleep out of my eyes.
"Alright, it's bedtime, young man." Ma carried me to my bed and tucked me in. Once Ma and Pa left I went over to Daniel's bed.
"Daniel?" I whispered and shook him. He stirred and sat up quickly.
"Jess? What is it?" He felt my face to identify me.
"Is Frank acting different to you?"
Daniel paused then sat up against the bed board and asked me to join him. I did and he put his arm around me.
"Jess, I'll tell you something that I don't want you to tell anyone. Frank I believe is thinking on leaving."
"What? But he can't we're family."
"Jess a mans gotta get out on his own sometime. And Frank feels like it is time."
"What'd'bout how everyone would feel?"
"I'm tryin' my best to talk him out of it. But Frank isn't that easy to persuade and he's pretty independent and wants a life that is good for him. He's just different, Jess."
"I don't like it."
"If you don't like it then get off my case, Jess." Frank's voice came out of the darkness sharp as a knife.
"Frank, don't talk to Jess like that. He's your brother."
"A little brother...a worthless little…" His voice faded as it was replaced by soft snores.
"I don't like it, Daniel. Not one bbbit." I attempted not to tear up, but failed and buried my head in his night shirt.
"Don't pay any attention to him, Jess. You're the best little brother an older brother could ask for! We're partners aren't we?"
"Yeah."
"And we won't stop bein' partners. Never. Now say it."
"We won't ever stop bein' partners." I repeated.
"How's that? You're my brother and partner no matter what. And if someone tries to hurt you in anyways, I'll be here for you. I'm here when ever you need someone to talk to. Then you have Ma and Pa. But if you want just a brother to brother talk, you can come to me."
"Thanks, Daniel." I rubbed my eyes. Daniel lifted his covers over me and then drew me closer to him.
"I love you, little brother."

"I love you too, big brother." I smiled at him.

And Daniel would always be my favorite brother and one I looked up to the most. He would help me, when Pa couldn't and he would just listen when I needed to talk. Frank left the ranch a few days after that Christmas. He took one of the team horses and we never heard from him. He just up and left suddenly. Daniel and I knew the reason, but waited to tell Ma and Pa. Which never was told till it was too late. Daniel was thrown from his horse when I was fifteen and then a few days later, the raiders, calling themselves the Bannister gang, set my home I lived in for fifteen years, ablaze, with only me and Francie escaping.
But that Christmas was my favorite Christmas, because we had everyone and everyone got gifts and we got two wonderful filling meals. I learned a little more, but that was it. No Christmas was quite the same afterwards. Now I'm settled in a new home, in a new state. Slim Sherman and Daniel Harper could've, and would've, been best friends if they grew up together. They were alike in their attitudes and the way they understood you. Andy is like a little brother to me and Jonsey, well he's Jonesy. Course, I wouldn't tell Slim all this, even though I kind of figure he knows already. But all these good things will not replace the ones I lost back in Texas. I loved them and will never forget them. I haven't even forgotten about Frank. Now I can say I have somewhere to get back to when I travel. To home with Slim and his brother and Jonsey. A permanent home. And my horse Traveler with me all the way.